Sunday, May 22, 2011

Things we learn from watching CID

I think that people fall into three categories: those who like CID (genuinely), those who hate CID (genuinely) and ones who absolutely love CID (sarcastically). I fall in the third category. Yes, THAT CID which runs on Sony TV any time you switch on your TV. And that too for the last 12 years. 12 saal jurm ke khilaaf, as their tag line goes.

Here are the list of things I have learnt from watching CID:

  • People call up CID for any matter, be it murder, robbery or even if they see a dinosaur in Mumbai city. Main CID ko phone lagata hu.  They do not believe in the local police. Sorry Mumbai Police, you have lost the people's trust.
  • Everyone has the phone number of CID officers on their speed dial. Hello CID?
  • If you tell anyone that you are a member of CID, everyone will be in shock and damn scared.
    Person: Aee kaun ho tum? CID: Dekho hum CID se hai. Person(scared and shocked): CID?yaha?
  • CID has such amazing and futuristic gadgets, that even James Bond is envious of them.
  • Dr. Salunkhe has a dual degree. MBBS+BE Electrical Engineering. That is the only way he can be the forensic expert and diffuse bombs too.
  • In each and every chemical test, Dr. Salunkhe finds out that Boss, isme zeher milaya gaya hai when the color of the solution turns pink, and smoke starts coming out.
  • ACP Pradyuman needs to wear a suit each day. Strictly formal dress code only for ACP.
  • Abhijeet is ACP Pradyman's most trusted officer. He tells him in every episode Abhijeet, kuch to gadbad hai. Ermm, isn't that why the CID was called into action in first place?
  • ACP Pradyman has to roll his fingers around and make a constipated face whenever he says something. Noone, and I say noone, can beat ACP Pradyuman's reactions throughout the show. Bring them on-Johnny Depp or Amitabh Bacchan!
  • CID officers have to repeat everything which ACP says. ACP: Abhijeet, khooni ne us terrace se goli chalayi hogi. Abhijeet: Us terrace se?
  • CID officers need to say rhetorical statements. Sir,lagta hai khooni khoon karke bhaag gaya. Yea, like he was going to wait for CID to arrive before running away. OR Is glass pe khooni ke ungliyon ke fingerprints jaroor milenge. Aur kiske fingerprints hote hai apart from ungliya?
  • Daya can break any door with his brute force. Daya, darwaaza tod do.
  • CID officers can enter anyone's house without any search warrant.
  • CID officers always find a clue when they return to a particular site. Hume us jagah pe vaapis jaana chahiye, shaayad koi suraag mil jaaye.
  • CID officers can match finger prints and search from the criminal database using Microsoft Powerpoint. Even developers at Microsoft are not aware of this feature of Powerpoint.
  • Daya screeches the tires of the Qualis when coming to a halt, no matter where he is driving,and what speed he is driving at. And, the trusted Qualis has been around for a long long time.
  • Most of the times, the culprit is someone who is least shown throughout the episode.
  • Culprit confesses to his crime only when Daya slaps him. I wonder why don't they slap every suspect at the start of the episode itself!
  • Daya's slap is so powerful that it lands the culprit from the location he was caught at to the chair in the CID interrogation room. 
And these are the reasons I absolutely love CID. The best comedy serial ever on television.

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