Monday, October 27, 2008

Oh Gilly!!

"Gilchrist accuses Tendulkar of lying and raises questions over his sportsmanship". At first glance, this could have easily be taken as a headline of 1st April newspaper. Thats because Gilchrist & accusation,accusation & Sachin,Sachin & cheating-none of these go together. But he said it.Gilchrist-one of the few Aussie players whom I repsected(not any longer, though)- accused Sachin. This is nothing but blasphemy to millions of worshippers like me of GOD Sachin. How can someone accuse him of lying and showing no sportsmanship?? The man in question is the highest run getter in ODIs and Tests, so that makes him the greatest player in cricket,statistically speaking. More than that, over the period of 18 years and more in which he has been playing, he has not been invloved in any controversy whatsoever. OK,one if you take the Mike Denness incident in South Africa, where Sachin was ACCUSED, and I repeat, ACCUSED of ball tampering. When the truth was that he was just cleaning the grass in the seam with his nails. This is not me saying, but the pictures on TV, where you can clearly see it. Someone should have told poor old Mike Denness that you tamper a ball by picking across its seam, not running your fingers through the gap between the stitching. Or better, he could have consulted the Paki fast bowlers for knowing how its done ;)

Coming back to Gilchrist, they say any publicity is good publicity. What better publicity for his autobiography than the one you get by questioning the sportsman spirit of the person whom most people consider to be an ambassador for the game. Having said what he did, I feel he has dug his own grave. Remember, he will be coming to India for IPL later this year, where he will be leading the Deccan Chargers side. People in India might have a short memory about most things, but certainly not when it comes to anything said about and to Sachin. And just to make things interesting, he has a player in his team who resembles a tailed simian primate, but hates it when he is called anything similar to it, even more than motherly abuses( teri maa ki....). For those who might be suffering from bouts of amnesia, Symonds too plays for Chargers. And just if matters were not spicy enough, add Harbhajan Singh who plays for Mumbai Indians team. So, we have the 4 people for the Sydney saga crossing swords-Sachin and Bhajji vs Gilchrist and Symonds.

How I wish I was in Mumbai for the upcoming IPL so that I could shout out what I felt about Gilchrist. But I am very sure that fellow Mumbaikars will not spare Gilli and Monkey from the famous North Stand doses of verbal assault. Oh wait, Aussies like to call it 'mental disintegration', ain't it mate? Mumbai Indians vs Deccan Chargers in Mumbai will be something the two Aussies will remember as long as they rest in their grave.

I am no William Shakespeare, but I have come up with this poem (if you can call it that), which I am more proud of than Shakespeare would have been of any of his writings.Enjoy!!

Gilly,whatever you said against Sachin was really bad,
By the way,does ur kid know yet who is his real dad?

You do not say a word against our GOD on any day,
North Stand at Wankhede will teach you this the hard way.

Face the fury of the North Stand in the IPL when you come to play,
Gilly and Monkey with your Team Hyderabad so gay.

Going by the judge's review,we all know what happened down south,
How you will wish you had never opened your big fat mouth.

When Mumbai Indians defeat you and you get fucked by the North Stand masses,
You will have a feeling as if a horse gave you one up your asses.

When you go away,mouth shut and slipping through the back lane,
There will be one man who will still be saying "aaila, plane" :)