Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Stuff Desis Like

Ok,I got my "inspiration" to write this blog entry from another blog entry by the same name, which I found somewhere browsing through the Internet. Some of the stuff MIGHT be copied from there (I am saying might, since I have just started writing this.And yes, so far its all original)

When I refer to "desis", I'm referring to Indians who are temporarily/permanently settled in the US. Some entries in the list below come from self experience, some come from observations, while some come from the Internet. Here is the list of some stuff which desis like, not necessarily in the order in which it is listed.

1. Toyota/Honda: This HAS to be the first entry in the list. I have rarely seen a desi driving a car other than Toyota or Honda. Some distinguish themselves from this lot by owning a Nissan. But the reason for it is obvious - high mileage, low cost of maintainance and "Arree, even xyz bought the same car a few months ago, he is having no problems with it so far."

2. Maggi: Lifeline of desi students.

3. Orkut: Tell me a desi who does not check orkut every hour, if not more frequently. Desis also like to change their name on Orkut to something like "Happy Diwali to all" or "India beat Australia,yippee" or "Three days for semester break" or the more concerned "Raj- Im bck,redefyng mah lyfe" . Incase you are searching for a friend and do not find him, chances are he will be one of the people above.

4. Orkut pics: Wherever a desi goes, he should have a pic taken and displayed on Orkut as a display pic, or create a seperate album for it. If a desi goes along with his gang of friends(which is usually the case) to Statue of Liberty for example, each will have 5 types of pics taken- only the monument, desi and monument, desi and best friend and monument, desi and entire gang, desi and entire gang and monument.

5. Russell Peters: RP ROX \m/..Desis relate to him since he is the only desi standup comedian they know, and his jokes are for the desis.He is just awesome. If you do not know who Russell Peters is, then search on youtube. "Somebody is gonna get a hurt real badddd"

6. Successive use of a word: Come,come!!Read this,read this!! Get the drift? Repeating a word or a phrase is the most preferred way of stressing importance , being polite, being assertive, passionately agreeing, requesting a favor or wherever suited. Examples of it include ordering at restaurants ("bring two,two"), welcoming guests ("sit,sit"), appreciating someone or something ("good,good"),or just generally("hmm hmm,yes yes" and "sure,sure").

7. Cricket: Ah, how can I forget cricket. Its a religion, and most desis follow it. Inspite of the time difference, desis regularly follow the Indian team matches. Desis hunt for all possible websites for live streaming ("live-cricket-links.com"). And incase they are unable to watch the live streaming at work/university, then Cricinfo to the rescue. Cricket is religion, Sachin Tendulkar is God.

8. Fellow Desis: Desis love fellow desis. They are comfortable with them, irrespective of the part of India the other person is from. At any given place, desis will be looking around to see if there are any other desis. Even in case of chicks, a desi will look at a desi chick for a second longer than any other blonde/redhead/black(?) chick. And it is not too difficult to strike up a conversation with a fellow desi. Common questions include "Where in India are you from?"," How long have you been here?","So, doing your masters?ohk,what is your major?ohk CS,so are you into databases/distributed networks/security?"

9. Staring: Lets face it. Desis stare, with or without realizing they are doing so. And it is not just the female gender we stare at (we ogle at them,hehe), we stare at one and all. We stare at fellow desis to see if we know them or which part of India he/she is from. We stare at firangs and then wonder why they go around saying hellos and his to you. What else do you expect them to do if they are stared at??They are not desis, they are not used to it. Desis probably do not stare at our Afro-American big brothas, since they will stare back at you. This leads to uncomfortable sitations for the desi, since he has been told to stay away from these supposedly nasty people(no offence).

10. Desi restaurants: Desis love desi restaurants. But obvious. They love it even if the food is bad, ambience is pathetic and its far away from where you stay.

11. Saunf: For the uninitiated , saunf or fennel seeds are the thin little ridged green grain-like thing that desis love to chew on after hearty meals (often times in alarmingly large quantities, almost constituting a large after-meal) . While desis swear by its “mouth freshening” qualities (altoids, be gone!), it also gives them an opportunity to weild their toothpicks to achieve instant dental pleasure (otherwise achieved by the “hygiene no bar - whatever it takes” rule. hint: it grows on your fingers :P). 4 desis going to a restaurant means the small(in desi terms) cup of saunf kept near the exit is empty when they leave.

12. Copying: Desis love copying, and it is a well known fact even across the universities in the US. I doubt if there will be a single university in the US which has not had a case of a desi involved in plagirism. If not his friends, desi will look for answers on Google. And copying is not just restricted to academics. Some part of what you have been reading has also been copied from the Internet. We are well aware of the desi films copying storylines, music and what not from foreign films.

13. Torrentz/Limewire: Desis love these things for free downloads. With the high speed internet which they did not get back in India, desis love these for downloading anything and everything possible. The free downloads include music albums, just released films, porn(ofcourse, did you think you were the only one?) and much more. As RP would put it "You fucking filthy downloaders!!"

14. Google: Desis love Google. To know the reasons a desi uses Google for, please Google it out.

15. White friends: All desis like to be friends with white people. More than being friends with them, they like to show off and talk about them. How many times have you heard a desi rant "You know last weekend when I had gone out WITH MY FRIENDS ADAM, MATT AND HIS GIRLFRIEND RACHEL.......". Some desis would call you near them and show their facebook profile saying "Hey, look at this chick. She is a friend from university". 85% of these white chicks wouldn't even have said anything excpet the courteous hi's and hellos. But our desi friend thinks that she has the hots for him.

16. McDonald's: Desis love McDonald's for 3 main reasons: Dollar menu, dollar menu and dollar menu. Typical order from a desi at MacD "I will have 1 burger, 1 fries and 1 coke. Chicken burger haa. And coke refill is free na?"

17. Swearing: Desis love to swear. Infact, all Indians are genetically potent swearers. Desis add a special twist to the usual swearing - "Fuck you biatch,bhaindchod". And they say this to even the firangs. As if that poor guy is gonna understand the last word of the sentence.(Although firangs in Gracies' cafeteria at my university would reply back "Gaand mara chodu"...hehe).

18. Sharing: Desis love to share - be it pirated softwares, books, clothes or cars. If a desi finds something interesting on the net, he will share it with other desis - "hey..look at this new mms clip. mast maal hai" or "hey,look at this website, it contains the code for our assignment;but make sure you change it a bit". Not only is the virtue of sharing used to save money but it is also used to save space. Desis achieve this by making sure that there is at least one more person than the legal number of people allowed to stay in the apartment.

19. Desi parties: Desi parties can be held in various locations ranging from offcampus apartments to downtown night clubs, with many reasons or no reasons whatsoever. The party is hyped weeks in advance, mainly through word of mouth publicity. Gals with skimpy costumes and dudes with jackets and gelled hair are present everywhere. 'Mundiya tu bachke rahi' is the DJ's most favourite song at every desi party. A desi , free-style, everyone-is-invited brawl is as much a necessity of every party as the punjabi music :)

20. INDIA: Last but not the least, each desi loves India, his homeland. No matter how much they crib about India, deep down each and every one of them loves it.

Ofcourse, there are many more things which desis like. However, these were the few which came to my mind when I thought of it.

Proud to be a desi :)

1 comment:

Sooraj said...

Enjoyed reading it